How many times have you thought about quitting, about giving up?  One might hear, “It’s too difficult.” or “I’m just not smart enough” or “No one can do that.”
 
            The truth is that everyone confronts obstacles, pretty much on a daily basis.  Yes, many of life’s challenges are large and burdensome, but it doesn’t mean that they cannot be overcome.  By definition, life is a hard and sometimes painful experience, but by solving our problems one day at a time and by conquering the little fears and barriers that we face, we prepare our selves for the larger and more challenging of life’s problems.  Think of a surgeon who operates on a heart to save the life of a little boy.  Was that doctor born with all the knowledge of anatomy?  Did he just inherit the skill of a surgeon?  Did he just walk into a hospital and be hired because of his good looks?  No, he studied hard, he practiced, he spent years in school and college often spending hours studying and cramming for exams while others partied or went out for a good time.
            This is one of the laws of nature.  Good things come to those who work hard for them.
 
 PERSEVERANCE:   To continue in a course of action - to persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea or task despite  counterinfluences, opposition, discouragement or obstacles.

        At age 22....................................................... he failed in his first business venture.
        At age 23....................................................... he was defeated for the Legislature.
        At age 24........................................................he failed in another business venture.
        At age 25....................................................... he was finally elected to the Legislature.
        At age 27........................................................he had a nervous breakdown.
        At age 29........................................................he was defeated for Speaker.
        At age 31........................................................he was defeated for Elector.
        At age 34........................................................he was defeated for Congress.
        At age 37........................................................he got elected to Congress.
        At age 39........................................................he lost his seat in Congress.
        At age 46........................................................he was defeated for the Senate.
        At age 47........................................................he lost for Vice-President.
        At age 49........................................................he was defeated for the Senate.
        At age 51........................................................he was elected President!

Question: Who was this man?
                      

Quotes on Quitting
 
“Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can.
And just when you think it can't get any better, it does.”       
- Nicholas Sparks -
 
 
 
"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you,
till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer,
never give up then,
for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." 
- Harriet Beecher Stowe -
 
 
 
"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
          - Hugh Downs, Journalist -
 
 
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."  
- Thomas Jefferson -
 
 
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,
but anyone can start today and make a new ending." 
- Maria Robinson -
 
 
“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” 
- George S. Patton -
 
 
"Success is to be measured not so much
by the position that one has reached in life
as by the obstacles which one has overcome while trying to succeed."
- Booker T. Washington -
 
 
"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing."   
- Abraham Lincoln -

The bride was absolutely stunning as she walked down the aisle of the Church.
 
As the groom watched her walk toward him, he thought to himself that he is the luckiest guy in the world that such a beautiful and wonderful girl would ever say yes to marry him.
 
Everyone was in awe. This was a very nice couple that were very good to each other and for each other.
 
When it came time for the vows, she read a poem she had written about how deep their friendship and love had become.  He read a paragraph that perfectly conveyed his feelings and gratitude to her.
 
And then the priest asked him the question, "Do you promise to love, honor and obey your wife now and unto death?" And he smiled and said, "I do." The priest turned to the bride and asked, "Do you promise to love, honor and obey your husband now and unto death?" And she answered, "I do."
 
But then the priest turned back to the groom and asked, "Do you promise to do 80 percent of the household work?" And the groom looked surprised and said "What?"
 
The priest repeated the question. "Do you, as husband, promise to do 80 percent of the cleaning, the cooking, the shopping, the dishwashing, the child rearing, the vacuuming, the laundry, the dusting, and the serving? Do you promise to do 80 percent of all family responsibilities, chores and obligations?  Do you promise to give 80 percent and only expect 20 percent from your wife?  The groom was a little taken aback, but then said, "I do."
 
Then the priest repeated the same question to the bride. "Do you, as wife promise to do 80 percent of the cleaning, the cooking, the shopping, the dishwashing, the child rearing, the vacuuming, the laundry, the dusting, and the serving? Do you promise to do 80 percent of all family responsibilities, chores and obligations?  The bride also was a little taken aback, but then she said, "I do."
 
The priest smiled in approval, and then gave a little sermon before he proclaimed them husband and wife.  He told a story about a couple he knew that had a hard struggle in life. They were poor and without a lot of family and resources. They each needed to work two or three jobs just to have enough money for food and shelter.  But he explained that this family were always in want, and yet never wanted.  Of all families including those with a lot of money, this family had the most gratitude and most happiness. The reason?  The priest said that it was because each of them was willing to give more of themselves and expect less of the other. And they each did this in full gratitude for the gift of love they have been given and for the love of their family. And they did it without any resentment. It was a small price to pay.
 
Both the husband and the wife each expected that as a part of life, the majority of the responsibility - at least 80 percent - would fall upon them and not their spouse to make the family work, to make it succeed.
 
The priest explained, "In today's society everyone says our family is 50-50. But the point is that a 50-50 relationship for the family work is unrealistic. And if you strive for 50 percent and do 55 percent, well, you become resentful - after all, your spouse is not keeping up with their 50 percent.  That formula alone, causes more tensions and arguments than almost anything else."
 
"But," the priest continued, "If you have very high expectations for yourself to do the work, and low expectations for your spouse and if you do so gratefully for the blessings you do have, you are always living in an atmosphere of satisfaction and are grateful for it."
 
The priest continued, "Is it fair to do 80 percent of the work and only expect your spouse to do 20 percent? Well, it is one of those paradoxes that in families where a husband or wife demands more of themselves than their spouses, they are happier and have higher levels of marriage fulfillment and family satisfaction."
 
"It also fits into our understanding that often, it is not the work but the attitude that gives us life satisfaction, and that people who do the most get the most."
 
"Yes," he said, "to love, honor and obey are admirable virtues and are needed for every successful relationship. But as much as anything, offer in your heart to do 80 percent of the work and you will never be disappointed."
 
Editor's Note: The Rule of 80-20 works not just in marriage, but in everything you do. As an employee, strive to do more than your share of the work.  As a boss, strive to work harder and better than other supervisors. If you work on the farm, in the factory, at the office, or in the home - strive to reach the 80 percent level - and be very grateful for it - and it will improve your life in all areas.

     So the news station had a special report about a local tobacco farmer.  He was a good family man - husband and father, had good values, and seemed to be a hard working, loyal American... just an all-around good guy.  
     But, they asked him, "Why are you growing tobacco when you know it's the Number One cause of cancer and kills 500,000 people every year?"
     The tobacco farmer said, "I can make money growing other crops, but I grow tobacco because I make a lot of money off of it.  Hey, people can choose not to smoke or they can choose to quit if they do smoke."
 
     Another report asked why a man is a bartender when alcohol causes one of the most prevalent and worst types of addiction, and the bartender replied, "Because I can make a lot of money in only a 30 hour work week."
 
    And in another report a street drug dealer was asked why he sell drugs when he knows that drugs destroy people, families and entire neighborhoods, and the drug dealer replied, "I had a shitty job and I found that I could make as much money in one week selling drugs as I did in one month on that job.  I made a lot of money."
 
     What's the difference between the tobacco farmer, the alcohol bartender or the drug dealer?  Legality aside, the truth is that they all participate in industries that hurt and kill people, families and communities…. industries that neglect the health, safety and welfare of children and families - all in the name of money.   
 
     Of course all three can try to justify what they do at some level. People always do.  But the question is:  "Is it really worth it?"
 
     It's all about the money…. and, unfortunately, some people will do anything for the money… sell out their family, their friends, even sell their souls.  The point, here, is that we have a lot of problems throughout this country and throughout the world, and, you can be a part of the problem or a part of the solution - but only you can choose.
 
     At some point everyone will be "tempted" by money - perhaps lots of it.  Many people have already lost their values - and most often they sacrificed them for money.

      Lying, cheating, stealing... overcharging for goods and services..... not paying your taxes.... lawyers, bankers, doctors and dentists, car mechanics, pharmaceutical companies, businessmen, the list goes on and on. 
 
     Certainly, everyone will be tempted at some point - and one truism is that anyone who did something majorly unethical or criminally wrong, started by doing small things first. 

      We all face opportunities to lie, cheat or steal.... probably everyday as a matter of fact.  What speaks to our real nature, though, is not what we say but what we do.
 
     There are two types of people in this world:  people who are part of the problem, and people who are part of the solution.  We can't complain - we don’t have a right to complain or gripe about the status of the world, unless we identify with and obligate ourselves not to be a part of the problem but to always be a part of the solution.

She was sitting on a bench with her brother.  Her body language was closed, tight, tense, she just wasn't listening to him.  His voice was soft and gentle and inviting.
 
Then she said, "No!  He disrespected me, so I disrespected him!"  Period.  End of story.
 
That began a long conversation with the brother trying to calmly get her to see another point of view, and trying to get her to think about - and reconsider her actions. 
 
No one really knows how that story - one of thousands like it, turned out.
 
But was it just a one-time verbal slight?  Did she over-react?  Was she too emotional?  Or was she correct in treating others as they had treated her?

One of the most valuable traits we have today, is to have respect of others and for others.  Even people who truly disagree on a topic will say, "Well, we agree to disagree."  They accept differences in opinion without personalizing it and making it a case of disrespect.
 
Civilization needs respect.  Parents need respect. Law Enforcement needs respect. Teachers need respect. Culture needs respect.  Employers need respect.  Community, family, religion, society all need respect.   Above all, YOU need respect.
 
We want others to treat us with respect, and we dislike it when others show us disrespect.
 
As an aside, however, sometimes we use the word "respect" in the  wrong context.  Respect really means you have an admiration - a high esteem - for someone based upon their accomplishments.  You hold them in high regard, almost in honor.  This type of respect, though, is really reserved for a "chosen few."
 
In day-to-day terms, respect is given to anyone based upon qualities or characteristics we cherish or find valuable ourselves.  It is a feeling that someone is important, or serious, or that deserves our courtesy.  Therein is the humanistic belief that everyone is important - that everyone deserves our respect.
 
In this regard, then, everyone deserves our respect simply because they are human - are our brothers and sisters.  Respect is not something to be given or withheld, not to be awarded or vindictively withdrawn because of a slight, an argument, a disagreement, or a perceived wrong.
 
Everyone deserves a baseline of respect, of common decency.
 
Disrespect though is different.  It is not just the opposite of respect.  It is a conscious showing of a lack or courtesy… it is being impolite.  It is a manner of behavior that could be interpreted as offensive, as contempt, scorn, even insulting.  One example may be a particular teacher that you think is too hard on test grades.  You may not give that teacher the greatest of respect for whichever reason, but you most certainly would not show disrespect.
 
So, respect and disrespect are on the opposite sides of the spectrum.  And while people often show different levels of respect, it clearly should not cross that line into showing disrespect…. That is the difference between maturity and immaturity, between civilization and anarchy.
 
It often happens, by the way, that we do not show others the degree of respect that perhaps we ought… that they deserve.  More often than not it just happens because we weren’t thinking.  When it does happen - or when we realize it - perhaps the best thing to say is "I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect."

It's been said that if you live long enough you'll see everything.  Well, grandparents often have, and the Wisdom they have gained from life experience makes them some of the wisest people in the world.... and they are always eager to teach and pass on their wisdom to their grandchildren. 

They may not have "School Smarts."  They may not have "Street Smarts."  But they do have "Survival Smarts"... how to stretch a dollar.... how to keep peace in the family... how to find jobs to support a family when they were few and far between, how to reuse throwaways or re-purpose old stuff. 

Your Grandpa didn't care about keeping up with the Jones.  For him, it was about God, Country and Family.  And most importantly he knew right is right, and wrong is wrong.... and he understood the difference between the two.

He only graduated from the 8th grade.  He had to leave school to find work and support his family.  He saw World War I, lived through the Great Depression, and saw World War II.  He was a religious man, and the family never missed weekly Church; he knew who to thank for his blessings.  He would never swear, especially in or about family.  He believed in hard work.  He was a patriot. He believed in a democratic form of government.  Everyone in the old neighborhood knew him - and respected him.  He believed in living under your means - save a penny and they add up to nickels, save your nickles and dimes and they add up to dollars.  During the depression, he said that it was hard even to come up with as little as fifty cents for a payment on his mortgage - and so he knew just how much every cent... every dollar, meant, and would teach by using old folk phrases like "Waste not, Want not."

And he had the wisdom from his previous generation as well as what he and grandma had learned. 

He knew about life, about what matters and what doesn't.  About perceived and real stress. 

And here are a few of his (and her) Rules of Life:

1) Live under your means.  Everyone wants your money, but other than charity don't spend it foolishly.  Learn the difference between "wants" and "needs."  Save.  You won't be disappointed.

2)  There is no such thing as a "Stupid Question."  He encouraged questions  because that stimulated thought.  In fact, perhaps if we asked more, we would learn more about what is really happening around us.

3) Time heals all wounds (well, almost all wounds.)  Give it time.  Don't worry.  And remember, "everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, then it isn't the end yet."   Never Quit !!!!!!

4)  When it comes to life, fall in love when you are ready - not when you are lonely.  Don't rush it - especially for the wrong reasons.  And a corollary is watch out for the wrong type of person... there are a lot of them out there.  Find someone who will pick you up - not drag you down.  You're looking for your best friend - not a drinking buddy.

5) Be as kind to others, caring to others, concerned about others, forgiving of others, charitable to others - as you would want them to be to you.

6) Learn from your mistakes.  Everyone makes mistakes.  The difference is that the successful person learns from them... while others repeat them over-and-over.

7) Expect a little.... give a lot (especially to charity - both people you know and strangers.)

8) Never compromise yourself.  Mistakes happen, but bad decisions, even little ones, come back to haunt you... and they grow and grow and grow.  Avoid all temptation.... follow a plan of life, and never do in thought, word or deed... in action or lack of action...  something you can truly regret at a future time.

9)  Do not neglect the family..... nurture your family... remember in a healthy family giving 80% & 20%... with YOU giving the 80%.  Keep that attitude of gratitude no matter the storm (storms pass.)

10)  Keep God FIRST in your life.  Your life is but a blink in the scheme of eternity.  As every grandfather knows, Life is over even before it starts.  You want, first and foremost, to be able to meet the Lord on His terms..... after a long and rewarding, albeit hard, life.... and to hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant, enter into the Kingdom of Heaven."

Grandpa's advice was always simple - not complicated.  But he always grasped the meaning of your problem and knew what to say.

PS:  Many times Grandpa would scratch his head, turn and say, "What do YOU think?"  Then after I would speak he would say, "That's good, sounds like you know what you need to do."  And he was right, many times we do have the answers ourselves - but we need someone to help us find them.   Man tends to overthink... to make it too complicated.  Grandpa would just keep to the basics... keep it simple.